Speaker 1 0:06

Hey ladies , thank you for joining the Single Moms United podcast . If this is your first time listening , welcome If you're a repeat listener . Thank you for your loyalty . This podcast has been developed to motivate and encourage the single mom . It's not how you arrived at the title , but what you do with it is designed to get you thinking about your approach to single motherhood , possibly giving you an aha moment .

Speaker 1 0:39

Now , today is a special episode for Father's Day . In my opinion , we really should call it Dad's Day because it's showing appreciation to the dads that step up to the plate , just like you , single mom . So I say that because , again , anyone can be a father , meaning a male right , but it takes a lot to be a dad . I want to take . I want to talk about the title differences related to father versus dad . A father is a key contributor to bringing about life , meaning he is the other half of why the child is in existence . Generally , that is the extent of how he acquired the title of father . He was there for the moment that brought about conception . Just because he is a father doesn't mean he is a dad . A father must be taken to child support court . A father won't know their child's birthday or middle name in some instances . In other words , there is a distinct difference between father and dad . Fathers aren't generally active in their kids' lives , unfortunately . Now , to be fair and not solely beat up on fathers , it goes the same with mothers . Just because you have the title mother doesn't mean you make a good mom . A mom sacrifices to ensure her child has or her children has . A mother continues to work off her own agenda and the kids get the leftovers . For example , she ensures her hair and nails are done , but the child may be falling behind in school and requires tutoring . Well , those funds that she's spending on her hair and nails could go towards the child being successful in learning the requirements in school . Okay , okay , ladies , i know enough bashing . Let's get back on the topic highway . I know I got off the destination exit for the moment , so let's talk about dad characteristics .

Speaker 1 3:04

Dads are present and involved in their children's lives . They know their birthday . They have even given the child a nickname . The child knows how to find their dad and vice versa . A dad freely supports the child not just financially but emotionally . A dad accepts responsibility without being told . A dad will verbally tell his child or children he loves them . A dad asks for forgiveness for any wrong he has done . Long story short , dads are proactively protectors and providers . No one has to tell or remind them of their responsibility . Now can a father turn into a dad ? Absolutely . If he has breath in his body , he can mend his ways . It's never too late Now .

Speaker 1 4:02

I've heard fathers asked for their children's forgiveness and try to be a part of their adult children's lives later . Yes , it is up to the adult child to make that decision . I personally believe if he makes the effort with the adult child , then they should allow him to . But that's just my opinion , while many adult children don't want to relinquish the hurt he left behind by not being in their lives during their early years . So it's fair that they don't want to immediately accept him , but I do think long term they should sleep on it and think about it and allow him into their lives . One thing they must keep in mind some of the fathers are also linked to generational curses that the children may not even be aware of Meaning . Their behavior is as a result of what they experience from their own father not being active in their lives . So adult children need to understand Some of the fathers' actions are not on purpose . Some of the behavior is not deliberate . They have to find forgiveness in their hearts and press forward Slightly .

Speaker 1 5:21

Veering to the left here a little bit , i've been seeing where people have been saying hey , stop wishing single mothers happy Father's Day . Okay , well , you know I am not for or against the statement . And the reason why is when we consider the definition of what a father is supposed to do , he is supposed to be a provider and protector of his family , while the mom is a nurturer . Now , if he is absent , can you tell me who takes on the role of protector and provider ? Think about that for a moment . You're right , it's the mom . She has to adopt this role , so she has to be the protector , the provider and the nurturer . So this is why some folks wish single moms happy Father's Day , because she is taking on all of the characteristics to raise the child And so , again , to be fair and given the responsibility that they're tasked with , i think it's fair to say happy Father's Day . I'm sorry that folks are offended by that , but if they really understood the characteristics that she's adopting , maybe they would be a little more receptive and not get upset that the single mama's being told happy Father's Day .

Speaker 1 7:04

Finally , ladies , if your child's father wants to be a part of your child or your children's life , letting please let him . I encourage you to set aside your differences for the sake of the child . Again , i encourage you to set aside your differences with him for the sake of the child . You two have to co parent . Yeah , he may have messed up . Yeah , you may have caught him doing some things . Yes , yes , yes to everything that he got busted in . But if he wants to be a part of the child's life , let him . And if he's responsible , let him . Your son and daughter especially the son has to have a relationship with him if he wants one with them . So , ladies , again , this was a special edition of single moms United podcast , focusing on the differences between Father and Dad . I hope you found value in today's podcast and we'll share with another single mom . Remember we are in this together . No matter how you arrived at the title is what you do with it . Take care , look for new episodes next week .