Welcome And Mentoring Mindset

Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast. If this is your first time joining, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty. Hey, just as a friendly reminder, this podcast is all about encouraging and motivating you, mom, as it relates to parenting. I think it's one of the hardest jobs ever. But you can get through this. How do I know? Because I got through it. I'm a mom of two. While I'm an older mom, I've learned some things along the way that I hope to pass along you that I wish I had when my kids were growing up. So this podcast is all about supporting you and making sure you're getting mentored because you have to pay it forward to your children. Yeah, that's right. You're your child's first teacher. You're more than just a nurturer, you're more than just a provider. You are a mentor. And I'm so happy to bring another episode to you today. I'm going to be talking about the difference between envy and jealousy and why it's important to teach about those emotions because they're going to experience it. These are natural emotions that we experience. And guess what? It's okay. But we have to know how to manage these emotions. Hopefully, you'll hang with me. And by the time this episode is over, you'll have a clear understanding of what the two emotions are and why it's important to discuss this with your children, especially school age children. From my own experience, that's when all of this happens. These are part of the emotions that we deal with when we're starting to interact with others, when we're starting to see how others navigate life and the things that they have that we don't. Yeah. All right. So let's get the party started. Envy shows up when you want something that belongs to someone else. Does that sound familiar? Yeah. Does to me. I've experienced that. And envy is between you and another person's blessing. Yeah. And it's okay someone has something different than what you have, but we have to learn how to process that. These things can grow and transition to something else. We start not liking people when we become envious and jealous. Yeah. If we don't manage it properly. Jealousy shows up when you feel threatened that something you already have might be taken away from you. Jealousy is between you, another person, and a third party. Yeah. So long story short, envy is I want what you have. Jealousy is I'm afraid of losing what I have. Wow. Ooh. And I tell you, I've experienced both of those. Yeah. And as long as we live, we'll continue to experience it. And that's why it's important to talk about it and understand what it is and how to manage it. We need to know the difference between these two emotions because mentors can't heal what they won't name. Absorb that. And envy and jealousy shape us in two different ways. Envy pushes us to compare. When we don't recognize envy, we start measuring our worth against someone else's progress. And that steals our confidence and our clarity. Jealousy pushes us to protect. When we don't recognize jealousy, we react out of fear. Fear of being replaced or overlooked or forgotten that can make us clingy, guarded, and defensive. Unnamed emotions become unmanaged emotions. And unmanaged emotions leak into our mentoring, our parenting, our leadership, and our relationships. But when we can name what we feel, we can lead from a healthier place. We can celebrate others without shrinking. We can protect what matters without panicking. We can mentor without projecting our insecurities. And that's why we have to teach our children. And remember, our children learn from us visually. We can talk until we're blue in the face, but they have to see how you respond to these emotions. You're gonna be envious of something someone else has or jealous of someone because of what they have. And that's natural. And that's the first acknowledgement you make. These are natural emotions, and you have to be able to manage them. And understanding the impact. And this is a perfect time, right? How envy can lead to comparison, how jealousy can lead to insecurity, and how both can affect friendships. And remember, when you're in school, that's when you start developing friendships. You have to start that explanation between the two emotions because it's gonna happen. It happened to me. I have friends that had a lot more than I had. I remember when I was in high school and I was friends with this young lady, and I come from humble beginnings, and she had a car. And I was like, wow. And she was complaining about the car. And I'm thinking, are you serious right now? Because what I wouldn't do to have a car, the only transportation I have is below my ankles, and that's my feet. But this is why we have to have these discussions early, teaching them that it's okay and how you manage it. All right. So in elementary years between the ages of six and 10, children at this age are forming identity. So helping them understand why they feel something builds confidence and empathy. Yeah. And then you also, if you miss this particular age group, then the next age group would be preteens and teens. And I think that's really when this sets in, and really when they start to realize those emotions and that whole puberty thing starts to happen. This is where the real mentoring happens, as I mentioned before. Social media, friendships, sports, academics, comparisons are everywhere. Yeah, especially social media. But good news is you can help your teams recognize the triggers, what's causing them to be jealous or envious, and ensure that they're practicing gratitude and being grateful for what they have. Yeah. And it starts there because once you start practicing the attitude of gratitude, you start feeling better about yourself. I'm grateful that I have clothes, period. Yeah, I couldn't go to the department store and get the latest trends, but I had clothes and they looked nice and they didn't have holes in them. Yeah. So attitude of gratitude. Build self-worth, self-esteem. Yeah, you can do this. You are unique. Be proud of who you are. That's why our fingerprints are different because everybody has their own style, their own way of doing things, and be happy of who you are. Communicate fears instead of acting out of them. If you're afraid that something's gonna happen, someone's gonna take over your job, someone's gonna take over your role, someone's gonna get with your boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., talk about it because it's going to make a difference in how you navigate and how you respond to jealousy and you have to do this. This stage is about emotional maturity, not just emotional vocabulary. Long story short, moms and maybe some dads. If you didn't really understand the difference between the two, and honestly, I didn't. I thought they were one and the same. But once again, my faithful listeners, you had me researching this topic. We all have to understand and make sure that we share with our children. And the bigger part is share with you, because now you have to pay it forward. That's right. Our kids are visual. We can talk until we're blue in the face, but they're paying attention. And I would even use examples of times when you were envious and when you were jealous, and how it made you feel, and why you felt that way. Yeah. Have that open dialogue with your kids. I don't think you should say, hey, little Johnny, let's go over here and sit down and talk about envy and jealousy. No, you want to introduce this when you start seeing the signs, when there are clear examples of mood changes. But why are you upset? So-and-so has new clothes, has new jeans, whatever it may be. And you're like, wow, I want that. Or they may have a new, if it's a young lady, a new male friend, and he's all good to her and everything. And I wish I had a boyfriend like that. And so now it starts to come out. When there's envy and jealousy, the behavior does start to change. You'll start to hear them talk down and all that. She walking around here like yeah, yeah, that you start noticing those responses are becoming more negative. Yeah. And that's the first sign that, oh, there's an issue. This is why I have a problem with so and so. And then the gossiping starts. All of these things, all this negative conversation start to occur. So there's your sign of there's some envy happening here, there's some jealousy happening here. And now that you know the difference between the two, you don't have to attack. Talk about the one that's more pertinent to the situation, because that's going to have the greater impact. It's important to do this and to reiterate to your child or your children why it's important you verbally talk through this because it can take you down a dangerous path if you don't. That's right. There are people that's so jealous, they hurt people. And not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, because of that jealousy that they're experiencing. So you wouldn't have that conversation. There's no reason why you should stunt your growth when maybe something someone else has doesn't belong to you anyway. There's a different blessing out there for you that you're missing out on because you're worried about somebody else's. Yeah. And look how unproductive that is. Where does that leave you in the long run? All right, ladies. I hope that I was able to clearly define what envious is and what jealousy is. Again, envy shows up when you want something that belongs to someone else. Envy is between you and another person's blessing. Jealousy shows up when you feel threatened that something you already have might be taken away. Jealousy is between you, another person, and a third party. All right. I sincerely hope that you will take this knowledge. And if you can't use it today, pack it away for the day when you have to bring it out and have that conversation with your child or your children. And again, you will want to do this to really your teenager children because that's when this is all going to begin. Because that comparison is there. And as long as they have access to social media, it's going to continue to rotate in their mind of that should be me. How did they get it? And I didn't. All right, you all have a wonderful day. Take care.