Welcome And Why Silence Matters

Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast. If this is your first time listening, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty. We live in a world that demands a response to everything. But today I want to talk about the profound honesty found in saying nothing at all. This topic is interesting because we're talking about just being quiet. And maybe some of you are quiet at times and don't know how to respond to situations. I want to go through and talk about silence and what it means, what are the benefits of it, and then how to teach your children about silence. Let's start with the benefits of silence, first of all. You don't have to respond to everything that people invite you to, period. And so when you don't respond, there is peace. You maintain control of your emotions. Not everything deserves or requires a response. I had to learn that along life's journey because I used to respond to everything. Now I don't. If it's not benefiting me, then I move on. And then if it didn't have my name on it, if it wasn't addressed to me specifically, if someone just made a casual comment about something that I think would have addressed me, then I would have responded. But if they're not putting my name on it, then I don't respond. It's okay. That's how you feel. And since my name ain't on it, I'm not gonna own it. Period. I also used to think I had to have the final word. Nope, don't have to do that because I'm trying to protect my peace. And maybe because I'm just getting older now, I don't need to get into all the noise of things that are happening in life. I have a tendency to myself say, you know what, I'm not gonna respond to that. The other benefit of going silence for some, no lies. Silence is better than a lie because silence holds space for the truth. But a lie replaces truth with damage. I've been lied to so many times throughout my life, and you can't recover from that. At least with me, you can't recover from that. So I have a greater respect for people that go quiet or go silent than somebody that just provides a lie. And I bet you will too, because they did not lie to you. They did not make up a falsehood and try to sell it to you. And that's an insult of our intelligence, right? I appreciate people that choose not to respond. Yep, at first I thought it was rude, but now it's hey, it's a form of protection. And I respect you for that. Silence protects the truth while a lie damages trust. Silence gives space, time to think. Silence keeps integrity intact. A lie may fix a moment, but it breaks a relationship. Ask me how I know. Silence may confuse a moment, but preserves your character. That's so important. A lie is reactive. Silence is intentional. Those are some of the benefits of not responding. It's respecting the other person. Either side of the table that you're on as it relates to silence. You have to appreciate that. It can also improve relationships. Silence teaches you to listen, it helps you to respond instead of react and display more patience and presence. Sometimes you have to learn to walk away. Gather your thoughts before responding. Yeah, I've been in many of those situations where, again, I could go toe-to-toe or I could just walk away. And I have to say, the few relationships that I have had, I never argued with him ever. We would always have a conversation of what we disagreed on, or rather what I disagreed on, and we talk through it and move on. And that's it. Either we agreed or we disagreed, but we never argue. Yeah. And I know, fellas, are you fellas listening? Oh, where can I find you? Yeah, I'm off the market. But anyway, but I never argue. That's just not my style. If I disagree with something, then I shared it and moved on. But again, that's the importance of silence and trying to control peace of mind for you. It restores energy. Common phrases I use to protect my peace. You can either say this verbally or mentally, moms or parents. I'm not dealing with this today. Yeah. No matter what comes at you and someone's provoking you, you can say it out loud or you can mentally say it. Another phrase I like, I'm not going to allow you to disturb my peace. Not today. Nice try, though. You have to argue by yourself. I'm not participating. That's another one of my favorite phrases. I'm just not going to do this with you today. You want to argue, then you go right ahead. I'm not going to be an active participant. So protect your peace verbally and written. Anything negative that comes across your email or text, you know what? Don't respond. Go ahead, scroll up, delete, whatever you need to do. But that's another way that you can protect your peace. Just go silent because I guarantee you that person, whether you're the recipient or the provider, that person's going to do the same thing to you. Oh, you doing this, you coming at me like this. I'm not going to participate. And that's a form of silence. And that's okay. One of my favorite phrases. Now, how to respond to silence. When someone gives you the silent treatment, don't chase, don't panic, and don't take it personally. When they're ready to talk, they will reach out. But you have to provide safety for them to do but because if you still got an attitude and this is going on, they're probably not going to reach out because they don't need that kind of noise. But be receptive. So if they do reach out, listen. Don't just come off and why you ignore me and I text you or called you and you didn't call me back. Guess what? You're going to get disconnected again. I'm just saying. Because nobody wants to hear that, especially with those folks that struggle with how to communicate their emotions. Many folks that go silent had some type of emotional trauma in their life. And as a result of that, they're very keen on not having that cycle repeat itself. You have to respect that everybody is not the same when it comes to communicating. And I just had to realize that. Had a situation this past week where I reached out to several people and they didn't respond. And initially I was like, oh, okay, this is what we're doing now. And in my opinion, it was a critical issue that I thought deserved a response, whether it was yes, no, or maybe. But I got the silent treatment. So anyway, my final thought or comment is it's okay. Because there would have been a day I would have been not so kind because of the lack of follow-up. But I chose to go a different route. All right, let me get back on track here. So let's talk about silence in our children. And should you teach this? Yes. Teach your child that silence is a calm moment where their mind and heart can rest. Show them what silence feels like through short, quiet moments together, like sitting still for a few seconds. Explain a silence helps them think better, calm their feelings, and make good choices, and make it fun and quiet games, breathing activities. Now, for breathing activities, you can find some of those on YouTube. And that can also help as well. And if your home is faith-based, connect silence to listening for God or feeling peace inside. And silence also works for hyperchildren, but you have to do it differently. You teach it in small, playful moments. Even five seconds of quiet as progress, and over time those moments grow. So finally, the next time the quiet rolls in, or silence, don't rush to fill it with noise or anxiety. Trust the silence. Trust your own peace. And remember that sometimes saying nothing at all is the loudest way to protect your heart. Teach your kids to honor the quiet. Honor it in yourself and let the silence speak for itself. If you were encouraged by this episode, you know what to do, mom, dad. Share this with another parent. Have a great day. Have a wonderful week and a marvelous month. Take care.