Period Or Comma Response

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey ladies, when your child comes to you with a question about life, how do you respond when you don't have the answer? Do you put a period on the moment and say, I don't know? Or do you add a comma and say, I don't know, but I will find out? Hey, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast, where we grow, learn, and parent with purpose. Today I'm talking about something simple but powerful. Knowing when to put a period on a moment and when to add a comma. Because the truth is, our children don't just learn from what we say, they learn from how we say it. And sometimes the difference between a meltdown and a breakthrough is just a little explanation. So I just want to take that time today, ladies, to try to equip you because your kids are going to have questions. And we can't continue to shut them down when we're having a bad day. Yeah, we have to learn how to respond even when we don't have the answer. So there's a difference between putting a period on the moment and adding a comma. And why do we need to do this? Again, as parents, we're busy, we're tired, we're juggling work, home emotions, and expectations. So when our kids ask why, especially at the wrong time, we want to end the conversation with the period. But here's the thing: kids don't understand, so they are naturally inquisitive. We have to learn how to embrace their why. We should be encouraging them to do that. Yeah, we should be encouraging because a period shuts the door and the comma opens it. Yeah. Children learn emotional

Why Kids Need Your Why

SPEAKER_00 2:20

regulation from us. If we pause and explain, they learn to pause and think. Communication builds trust. As I was raising my children and constantly correcting them, they learn to fear me, but not necessarily trust me. Now, some of you may be going through that same thing, but here is an opportunity to build that trust with your child because now you're having open dialogue with them about simple questions they may ask. And remember, communication as it builds that trust, kids feel safer when they understand the reasoning behind the decisions. And parenting is a mentorship. Hmm, mom to mentor. A comma gives space to teach, not just correct. And I wish someone would have told me that 30 years ago as I was raising my kids, because it makes a difference. When they're trying to understand the rule, the comma says you talk about the rule that you've established in your home. They're not necessarily challenging your authority. They're seeking clarity. They're just trying to understand, well, why do I have to wipe the counters down? Why do I need to clean the toilet? It's called germs. And that's why we need to keep things clean. That's why I'm asking you to do this. Because once I educate you on the why, you're going to take that into adulthood with you. And when you have your children, you're going to pass it along to them. That's right. When they're feeling emotional and they say, Mommy, why are you crying? Mom had a bad day today. And sometimes we go through that. And it's okay to cry. That's how you respond to that. When they're learning responsibility, a comma teaches values, not just tasks. Because again, you can tell them to do this. Go do your homework. Why do I have to do my homework? So you can get the knowledge you need to navigate this world. It's just that simple. It really is. And I think as parents, we make things too hard. And given that we are in 2026 where technology is just off the hooks. I don't know how else to say it. But you are better equipped today to find those answers for your children than I was when I was raising mine. And that's why it was a lot of I don't know, period. And unfortunately, as a result of the I don't know, children are going to go to someone else who they think may know.

Teaching Beats Constant Correcting

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Now someone else is putting knowledge into them that you may not agree with. So that's why it's important for you to not just say, I don't know, but it's I don't know, comma, a pause and go find the answer. When they're testing boundaries, like why do I have to call or text you when I'm going out or when I arrive somewhere? Well, the comma reinforces safety and trust. I want to make sure you got there safely. Call me, text me. Just let me know you arrived. And especially those kids after 10 that are going different places with different people. And even when they're going with different people, you would want to know if you made it there safely. When they're curious about life, these are golden teaching moments. Why? Because they're going to ask you different questions. Who is that? What is that? Why do you put the eggs in to make a cake? Why do you put flour in to make a cake? Because it's not going to be a cake without all the ingredients, right? And so we're trying to create and bake a cake. And in order for that to be successful, then we have to put all of these ingredients in there. Oh, I get it now. So next time you bake a cake, then they're going to come back and say, Did you get the eggs? Did you get the flour? Did you get the butter? Or they're going to be proactive and go gather all of this for you. And you don't have to say, go get the eggs. Oh, give me a stick of butter. You're not going to have to do that because now you are in education mode. When they ask those whys, things are going to make sense now as you go through and share with them why we do what we do and embrace the fact that yes, keep the questions coming. Yes, I may not feel like it today, but keep them coming. I may not even be able to answer that question today, but keep them coming. And mom, make sure you follow up because remember, this is all about trust as well. And if you don't follow up with them, yeah, they're losing trust with you. When we take a moment to explain even briefly, something powerful happens. There's some benefits to the comma and us taking ownership, right? It's all about respect and owns the topic for resolution. It strengthens the parent-child bond. Kids feel seen and respected. It reduces power struggles. Many conflicts disappear when children understand the purpose behind the rule. It builds critical thinking. Explanations help kids learn to make wise choices on their own. It encourages responsibility. When they understand the why, they're more likely to follow through. Because remember, I just gave you the example of the cake. When y'all sit down and go bake that cake, you don't have to go through and get the ingredients. They're going to have them ingredients sitting out and waiting for you to get started. The why is powerful when it comes to parenting, moms. Keep that in mind. Another

Find Answers Before They Do

SPEAKER_00 9:40

benefit, it models healthy communication. You're teaching them how to talk through challenges instead of shutting down. As you're introducing these benefits, these are things they're going to take with them through life because remember, you are their first teacher. We can't rely on the schools and other institutions to educate our children. We have to take ownership. When you become a parent, you become a teacher. Okay, well, why not just use the title? When you become a parent, you become a mentor. That's right. I said it and I said it in my out loud voice. Because if you don't take the initiative to respond, they will get the answers from someone else. And then that's when the correcting happens. Because somebody has given them misinformation. And now you have to go back and correct it. Let's be proactive and say, you know what? I carried this child for nine months and another few months after that. And I'm going to own them their success and life. I made sure that I took my prenatal vitamins when I was carrying them. And so now I'm going to give them the vitamins of knowledge as they round out life, as I round out life. Yeah, you're not going to know everything, mom. And that's okay. That's my favorite phrase, and you're welcome to adopt it. Keep in mind that it's okay that you don't know everything. But what is not okay is you not find out. And you have the equipment, the resources, the channels

Where To Send Your Questions

SPEAKER_00 11:50

to find the answers. And so I'm going to go out on a limb here. If you go to Single Moms United Podcast.com, I want you to leave me some notes there. Or if you're listening by way of YouTube, ask me some questions, something that has you stopped. And being the older mom that I am, I may have the answer for you. So come to me because I want to be your mentor. Not only are you a mentor to your children, I want to be a mentor to you and equip you. Visit me on Single Moms United Podcast.com or leave me some comments on YouTube as it relates to a question that your child brought to you and it kind of stomped you. And that's okay. You're going to get stomped. But what's not okay is you not find the answer. It's not fair to your child. Because if you don't give them the answer, if you don't follow up, then they're going to go ask someone else. And it may not be the answer you were expecting. Like, oh my God, where did you hear that from? And there will be days like that. Ask me how I know. Ask

One Small Comma Practice Today

SPEAKER_00 13:10

me how I know. As I finish out this episode, now, this week, before you put a period on your child's question or behavior, I want you to pause. Ask yourself, is this a moment to end or a moment to explain? Or another word for explain? Teach. Remember, it's okay for your kids to ask questions. They are naturally inquisitive. Here's a couple of thoughts to consider through this week. Choose one daily moment to add a comma and go back and explain. And sometimes you can be proactive. Don't always wait for your child to say, oh mom, what about this? Why this? Why that? You can come back and use chores, for an example. Hey, I need you to go wipe down the kitchen counters. Do you know why I'm asking you to do that? Yeah, so you can initiate that conversation. They don't always have to come to you. Yeah. That's one key takeaway. They don't always have to come to you to ask questions. You can ask them to make sure they understand. And what'll happen is now you're starting that cycle of getting them into that critical thinking mindset. You know, as we talk about the cake, right? You can ask them, do you know why we're putting these ingredients in to make the cake? Yeah, and they can say, no, I don't know why. And if they don't have that inquisitive mindset, this will start that process. So they won't just start accepting things just because. Yeah, there has to be purpose behind what we do and why we do it. And that's what this is all about. Again, practicing, explaining the why behind the rule. Notice how the child responds. Yeah. Especially when you ask them, do you know why? Do you understand why? See, watch their behavior. Watch how they react to that. If they just kind of say, no, I don't care, kind of. Or they're like, hmm, now you got the wheels turning. Yeah, and that's a good thing. As I conclude today's episode, and then you notice I was a little passionate because, again, I want to make sure you're equipped so that you can equip your children as they navigate life and enter into adulthood, that they're prepared for it. Right now, including myself, I didn't effectively prepare my children for adulthood. Unfortunately, I did not because I didn't include the why. I didn't include the comma. I it was always a period when it came to educating them or when they came and asked me questions. I don't know, period. And we move on. So they'd go get the answer from somewhere else. Yeah, I regret that.

Connection Starts With A Comma

SPEAKER_00 16:35

And I don't want you to regret that, mom. I don't want you to regret having your children to go get the answer from somewhere else. All right. Finally, parenting isn't about perfection, it's about connection. And sometimes connection starts with a comma. Keep guiding, keep explaining, and keep mentoring your child into who they're becoming. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I want to hear from you. That's right. You, you, and you. My fingers pointing right at you. I want to hear from you. And let me know how this went for you. And if you valued this episode, or if you've been enlightened by this episode, or inspired by this episode, leave me some feedback. I would love to hear from you. I hope you have a great day, a wonderful week, and a fabulous month. Take care.