Back-To-School Starts In The Mind

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey mom! It is back to school time and I am curious how you are preparing your children mentally to go back to school. Yeah, we prepare our children with supplies, clothes, and backpacks, but we rarely prepare their mindsets. They carry more than notebooks. They carry emotions, expectations, fears, and hope. And this episode introduces a simple conversation formula to mentally equip them back to school fears. Hey,

Why Kids Absorb So Much Negativity

SPEAKER_00 0:42

welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast. If you are a first time listener, welcome. If you are a weekly personal, thank you for your loyalty. Yeah, if it's back to school time already, can you believe it? Oh my goodness, what is the time to go? We make sure our children are well equipped with the problem materials and everything that they need, and that the school has asked for for them to be successful within that class or within that school year. But with everything going on now and with advanced 2026 and what's happening and the involvement of social media and them once social media, you know, they get exposed to so much more. And really, why they're absorbing all of this content? It's not positive. A lot of it is really negative. And if you look at or consider how much content they're absorbing every day, I would say it's probably 80% negative and 20% positive. And I'm sure those numbers are still off. It's probably more 90% negative and 10% positive. But either way, we have to learn how to deal with them, uncover some of the issues that they're facing as they go to school. Because I know it's not just the school itself, but they're gonna be meeting new people. Today I just want to talk to you about how to mentally prepare your child. And don't freak out on me. It's gonna be real simple. I'm not gonna give you the keys to the car and not just make sure you know how to drive. So don't freak out on me. It's gonna be a really easy process that I'm gonna walk you through. Now, again, this is not a one-size-fits all, it's a one-size-fits mode. Everybody's different, but hopefully it will get you thinking. And I'm also gonna share with you the benefits of talking to your child or mentally preparing them for school because long term there's gonna be a huge benefit. All right, let's get the party started.

How One Talk Builds Confidence

SPEAKER_00 3:32

So, why does this conversation matter? Why do you need to have that conversation with your child or your children? Yeah, your children. Uh-huh. You need to do that. If you got three, you need to have that conversation with all three. Yes, ma'am. Mm-hmm. It reduces first day anxiety, it builds confidence and boldness, it strengthens emotional vocabulary. It opens the door for future dialogue about challenges. And that's important. Why? Because we are more than nurturers, we are mentors, we are our child's or our children's first teacher, and it encourages self-advocacy, it helps them shift from summer mode to school mode, and it reinforces identity and self-worth. It creates a space at home where they feel heard and supported. So,

Simple Questions To Open Up

SPEAKER_00 4:36

how do we do this? Real simple. Oh my gosh, you all are gonna be like, I didn't know it was this easy. And you just ask questions, yeah, and I'm gonna give you the questions. So hang on now. If you need to go get grab a pen and paper or whatever, you're typing it out, or you can just hit rewind or or backspace, however you do to replay this segment. But here's some questions you can ask your child to get the dialogue started to help prepare them mentally, right? What did you like about the last school year? Yeah, and they're gonna come back and say, Oh, I like Mr. So-and-so. He was a great teacher. He taught me this, he was very patient. Or I like computer class because now I feel more comfortable with working computers, blah, blah, blah, et cetera, et cetera, right? And so they'll go on and you'll see them all uplifted on the things that they like, right? Now, the next question is what did you dislike about school last year? And why? And again, you're gonna see an immediate change in her tone. Yeah. All that happiness that they had, and you can invert these questions, right? Basically switch them around and say, What did you dislike? And then what did you like? So it land on a more positive note. But either way, these should be two questions you should ask. Now I'm gonna add this in here.

Listen Fully And Say “That’s Fair”

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Don't pull your child in and say, Let's talk about this, right? There should be a natural flow to this discussion. So you may have just gone out and bought their school supplies. You go through the checklist. While you're going through the checklist, then you pivot, you transition to some of these questions. So it doesn't feel like an interrogation, right? Because if you come out of nowhere and start asking this, they're gonna be like, what's up? But if you have a more natural flow to it, it's gonna come off better and they're gonna open up more to you. So again, you can switch these questions around, but if you ask them what they dislike, just make sure you're listening, mom. Give them your full attention. Please put the phone down, turn the TV off, whatever may be a distraction, so you can give them your full attention because this is a very sensitive area. And what negative experience they encountered last year, that's in the back of their mind for this year. Yeah, it is. When they know you're paying attention, they know you're being authentic. Now they become comfortable. They're not just gonna say, I didn't like Mr. So-and-so, I think he was picking on me. They're gonna say, I didn't like Mr. So-and-so, because every time I asked him a question, he would give me a brief answer, and then so-and-so would ask the same question. He'd go into detail with them. He just treated me different in this scenario, in that scenario. So basically, what I'm saying is when your child is comfortable, when they know you are listening, they give you more detail. Yeah, they're just not gonna give you surface level. Yeah, I didn't like Mr. So-and-so. No, they're gonna tell you why they didn't like him. And here's your response. I told you, I'm not gonna give you the car keys without knowing you know how to drive. Your response is that's fair. That's your response. Now, that's not blaming the teacher or dismissing your child. You are saying that's fair. That's the acknowledgement your child needs to hear from you to know that you are listening. So, what other questions should you ask your child? And again, you don't have to say one, two, three, four, five, right? Let me ask this. No, you gently introduce these questions. And it doesn't have to be verbatim. That means you don't have to say them exactly as I'm presenting them. But what are you hoping for this year? Sounds like to me, you you have some concerns with some prior teachers, so I assume that you get along better with the teachers, right? So hopefully that'll bring it out or them to share that with you. And if not, then that's how you would frame that. And is there anything you're nervous about? Anything you're concerned with? Yeah. And there will be. And how can I support you better this time? Again, you don't have to do that verbatim. You can just say, I'm here for you. I hope you will come to me at the first sign that something's not right or you're feeling uncomfortable, right? So they don't have to respond to you, right? Because that's kind of putting them on the spot, but just giving them that reassurance, I'm here. Yeah, come and talk to

Address School Issues Without Escalating

SPEAKER_00 10:24

me. You know, one of the things my son and daughter, they did come to me about some situations at school. And I appreciate that. I didn't go up to the school ready to tear someone apart about my child. I went to the school to get the full picture. So I do want to add that, moms, that when your child does come to you and say, this is what's happening at school, and this is how he or she made me feel, or so-and-so's picking on me. Okay, you have your information. Now you schedule a meeting with the teacher, the principal, and say, I'd like to talk to you about a concern. And that's it. Don't go in there talking about my child told me this, and I'm here to rectify the situation because my child is not a liar. Don't do that. Don't do that. Just say, I would like to discuss a concern. And now in 2026, you may not even have to go to the school. You may be able to just contact them on the phone or via email, but I wouldn't recommend email. I would recommend a verbal conversation. Hear both sides of it before you make your final determination. Because now you have to come back and talk to your child about what happened and what the school is saying. Okay. So, again, ladies, go ahead, get your questions together, figure out how you're going to introduce those, when you're going to introduce them, and again, in a very safe and comfortable, non-distracting environment.

When Not Everyone Likes Them

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Here's another question you should, I shouldn't say question, but a topic that you should have with your children. And that is not everyone is going to like them. That's just the truth. But you have to let them know it's okay. Everybody is not gonna like you. Don't walk around with your head hung down because student A doesn't like you. Student A talks to everybody else, they don't talk to you. Don't hold your head down. You keep moving because you will now attract the right people when you just know who you are and you hold your head up. Friendships shift, personalities clash, and not everyone connects, and that's okay. That's the comma behind not everybody's gonna like you. Learn for them to be okay with it. Because if they're not, that's what becomes a distraction, that's what impacts their grades, that's what makes them not want to go to school, is because, oh my God, so-and-so doesn't like me. So what? If they're not touching you, they're not calling you out your name, then let them not like you. The worth is not determined by who approves of them. Teach emotional resilience. You don't need everyone to like you, you just need to stay true to who you are. And if someone didn't like you, how did it make you feel? And you know what else? And I'm gonna just add this on for free. They're not gonna like everybody. Yeah. So why you worried about people not liking you, you're doing the exact same thing because they don't look like you, they don't sound like you, they don't dress like you. So you're gonna not like people because of how they present themselves. Yeah. So it goes both ways, but either way, that's none of your business of why you don't like this person. There must be a hidden agenda for you not to like that person, right? But you don't let that stunt you grow. You keep moving. You see that person walking down the hall this way, you go the other way. Just be non-confrontational. The bigger issue is all of this violence and things that are going on and fighting and all of that, it's not necessary. Just because somebody doesn't like you or you don't like them, you don't have to resolve it through violence. Learn how to just ignore it and move on. All right.

Talking Through Safety Drills

SPEAKER_00 15:41

You know, when I was in school once upon a time ago, way back when, we had safety drills, and back then it was tornado drills and fire drills. Unfortunately, in this day and age, the kids now have to do active shooter drills, and that's so unfortunate. But gently explain to your children the school has something in place. Now, if you say, you know, I'd like to see it, I'm sure the principals, teachers will gladly give you an overview or send you something in writing of what that active shooter drill looks like. Because technically that's your right. You're the parent and your child is at that school. You trying to work, and you really don't want to sit at work and be like, oh my God, is somebody getting into the building? Right? They should have some type of security measures in place. And if someone should bypass those security measures, um, you should know how they will respond to that and where the children are gonna go. That's your right. That's your right. Just to make you feel comfortable, you should ask for that. And I'm sure the adults, the teachers there are trained and prepared. And the goal is safety, calm, and awareness. Right? So unfortunately, that is a conversation I recommend you having with your child or your children. And you can ask them, you know, have safety drills ever make you feel confused or scared? Let's talk about it. Yeah, because we don't want them having anxiety issues over going to school that someone may come in and pull out a weapon. You should be that person they come to with any concerns they have around safety issues. Yeah. Because when they come home, they should be able to sleep at night and get up and go to school the next day without fear. Yeah. We are more than nurturers, we are mentors, mentors listen, mentors guide. Yeah, mentors reassure. We reassure folks. That's right. That's part of our role. Mental preparation is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. We have given them the backpacks, the notebooks, the pencils, the tablets, and all of that new clothes, new shoes, all of that to prepare them to go back to school. But now we have to give them the gift of comfort. Give them the gift of saying, you know what, I'm uncomfortable with this. Let me go talk to my mom. Yeah. Not even go to the principal. Let me talk to my mom about it. And if there are dads listening, yeah, let me talk to my dad about it. Yeah, that's how you know they have a good comfort level with you. That trust is there. Because that's big part of the characteristics of a mentor, is the person you're mentoring can trust you. And you should be the first person they come to with any issues. Because it also builds confidence, boldness, and resilience. We're not just raising students, moms, we're shaping emotionally strong, self-aware young people. We have to get out of that mindset. I'm just sending you back to school. It's time. Ooh, y'all just wore my nerves out over the summer. Now I'm getting my break because now you're back in the school. I get it. I get it. Two of my own. Okay. So we are more than nurturers, we are mentors.

Respect Over Fear At Home

SPEAKER_00 20:04

So this is what I want you to do for me. I want to hear from you, mom or dad. How do you prepare your child mentally for the school year? Or do you? Now I can honestly raise my hand and say, I did not. I did exactly what all majority of what all parents are doing, which is getting the material things together. That's what I did. Now I did tell them, don't have that school call me about some nonsense I gotta leave work for. And I did have that conversation. But I did not have the conversation, and again, this was years ago. I did not have that conversation with them about being disliked, about how to deal with teachers and peers and all. I did not have that conversation with them. So I hope you'll do better than me. And that you'll say, you know what? She can she makes valid points. And yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and have that conversation with my child or my children. Now, also what conversations have made a difference in your home? Are you having conversations with your child? Right? Because that leads to respect. And I talked about that. We don't want to instill fear in our children. We want to instill them respecting us, and you can get respect and still maintain your authority in the household. Don't get that confused. Oh, that makes me weak if I'm having a conversation with my child. No, ma'am, no, sir. What it does is it builds. That respect for you, it opens that dialogue. Y'all can have a conversation. And once that dialogue opens, you can start continuing to teach them about other aspects. And then, as long as you're teaching, that's gonna minimize the amount of what you have to correct. Because that's when the issues come in, right? That's when you start threatening their lives. I'm gonna get you, right? That's when you start threatening discipline, right? Because they learn something from someone else, and you got to come back and correct it. I would love to hear your thoughts, your experiences, and even your questions.

Share Your Parenting Lessons

SPEAKER_00 22:48

So go to singamomsunited podcast.com and there's a learning lessons tab in there. I would love to hear from you what some of the challenges you have experienced with teaching your child. And also, I'd like I'd love to know what you have taught your child and if it's been a value ad for you, because we can share that with the others, right? We can piggyback off of each other. And again, it's not a one-size-fits-all, but it's going to allow you to share. And when I was in corporate, we called it best practice sharing. Allow you to share with another mom, another parent of what you're teaching your children. And it may not be 100% applicable for their household, but the good news is I've learned this. You know, there's areas on social media, do it yourself. And I watch those often. And it's like, wow, I didn't know you could do that. Oh, that's all it takes? Oh, that's really inexpensive. And so it prompts me to want to do a DIY because of what I saw someone else do as it relates to creating a craft. That's what your story, as it relates to you educating your child or your children, will do for another parent. Because we don't all think the same way. When I watch those DIYs, I'm like, oh, I didn't, oh you, oh, I like how you put those two plates together and spray painted them and did this, this, and that, and made a cute piece of wall art. Oh, that is so cute. I would have never thought of that. Same concept, parents. You're giving them something to think about. And that's one of the things that I believe with this podcast is not just informing you, but it's to invite critical thinking to let you start saying, Hey, yeah, let me try this. Or I never thought about that. And if I'm successful in doing that, then hey, I've accomplished my goal.

Gratitude Milestone And Closing Wishes

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Woop woop. And speaking of goals, I'm done for today with this episode. But speaking of goals, you all have helped me reach 24,000 downloads. And I want to thank you so very much. I really do, because again, to hear and to see so many downloads, that does my heart good. I've been doing this for four years, going on five years, and it's been a challenge. I'm self-taught in all aspects, but thank you so much. And all of those that keep coming back, and all of my global listeners. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I hope these episodes have been a value add. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I appreciate you. You have a wonderful day, a great week, and a fantastic month. I hope all goes well with your child or your children for this back to school year. I'm praying for their safety, that we don't hear that there's been an active shooter at a school. I'm praying for you and that you know that you're able to get through it and that you have the support you need as a parent as you're trying to make sure your child is getting the best education. It's not easy. It's not easy, but it's okay. Yeah, you'll get through it. All right, take care.